[MUSIC] (drums beating) I've been experiencing homelessness for almost five years or more.

I was born in Woodland, but I was a former foster kid, so I was always moving around to Vacaville, Napa, Dixon, Sacramento.

So it was like where I'm from is really just all over.

I just recently graduated from Humboldt State University with a bachelor's degree in psychology right before the pandemic hit.

Pandemic kind of complicated things in that area a lot.

During that pandemic period, I unfortunately lost a good job that I had in the actual career field that I wanted to be in.

And I moved in with my grandmother.

I was doing like webcam modeling at Grandma's house.

The situation got a little bit out of hand.

So my family asked me to leave and I'm staying in the car right now.

When I was street homeless, like actually in the tent, at night when it came to the tent setup, everything's good to go.

We have some watch it, and then the rest of us would grab our backpacks and we'd look at each other and go, okay, let's go, we're gonna get dinner tonight.

I would try my best to get like rotisserie because it came like warm, and we'd be able to eat for that night.

We really tried to make the best of what we had.

Sometimes it would, like if it was freezing, we'd grab liquor because it was the only thing that was warm.

(gentle music) There are just these little, these like safety nets in life, right?

Like when you're coming of age and you graduate from high school and you get a job and all that stuff and you wanna venture out and get your own apartment, right?

And let's say something happens, maybe your roommates fail to pay rent or something like that, maybe your girlfriend breaks up with you.

Sometimes there are circumstances where you need extra help and there's a safety net for that.

You know, oh, (bleep) I (bleep) everything up.

Hey, can I move back in with my family and take care of stuff and wait for the dust to settle and then get back on my feet?

And the answer is yes for most families and most people.

I don't know if disown is the right word.

I feel disowned.

I don't know if it's as dramatic as that in reality, but my family made a decision very recently to stop supporting me in every possible way.

And it's why I'm out here in the first place.

I know in my heart, what I need, what's right for me.

And my health is a priority above all else.

I mean, there are some logistical realities of being a transgender person.

They're just a pain in the ass, regardless of whether or not you're unhoused.

So I do have to deal with that stuff.

I have to do my hormone maintenance stuff, which involves being in really good contact with my main primary doctor because I have to go constantly to do endocrinology screenings.

I have to get my blood checked every three months to make sure that I don't have like some weird cancer from my hormones.

I usually start out the day by cleaning out the car.

It's a silly thing to give a nod to, but there really is something to say about managing your space, making your bed, those kinds of things, and attending to those small goals.

Cause I sleep everywhere.

That's the one thing.

This is a fixture for sure.

Like I'm always up here when I have free time during the day, but the actual place that I sleep at, it's a completely different setting every single night almost just for safety.

My first domestic violence ended up taking everything from me to a point I was cold and numb.

He even looked at me and he was like, "Damn, I created a monster."

Because I didn't know how to love anymore.

I gave birth when I was 21 and she came around.

All of a sudden I caught myself smiling.

I was like, "What is this?

I haven't felt this in a long time."

I'm laughing.

What's that?

I started like really caring about her cause she brought me a feeling of warmth, home, security, love, and I had to make the hardest decision because if I couldn't even buy me a bag of chips, what am I going to do for you?

I know I can't take care of you.

I struggle with my mental health.

I struggle with addiction.

I struggle with all these things.

I'm not going to put you in harm's way.

I care about you more than I care about me.

The only reason I'm alive is because of her.

I tried to kill myself.

I ended up not being able to because of her.

This is how I know I can't get rid of you and I can't get rid of me.

Like you're teaching me how to love.

I thought I was done with people.

She's saved while taken care of by people that can afford college and everything else for her.

I'm not going to keep her and later on be the person standing in the way of her full potential.

And I'm not going to keep her when I gave up my experience of becoming a mom for the first time.

I missed her first footsteps, her first word, her learning how to crawl.

I missed a lot.

People that aren't parents don't realize that.

Calling her almost hurts as much as not calling her.

Because calling her just puts a reminder.

She's right there in front of you without being right there in front of you.

So it's like I get to see her.

I get to say hi on the phone, but I can't hold her.

I can't hug her.

I can't just kiss her forehead.

I can't hold her hand.

I can't do anything that I want to do.

(busker scatting) (cheering) Hey, man, that was great.

Downtown James Brown.

Take care.

Downtown James Brown.

Y'all know me.

Take care, I love y'all.

Have a good one, man.

On Saturdays, it's great to go to the farmer's market.

Just cause, I just like to keep it local.

I do know some of the food vendors, so that's a really cool thing too.

One of the things that I had to do recently was I'm receiving EBT, which I was able to use at the farmer's market today, which has been like a super cool part of my experience like this.

They do a match program.

The farmer's market people, whoever that umbrella group is, you can go there and say, hey, I intend to spend $10 and they will match you an additional $10 up to a maximum of that $10.

So I just go there on the weekends and I say, hey, just give me 10 bucks and I get 20 bucks.

And then I spend that on fresh fruit and stuff.

And it's pretty much the only time that I get fresh fruit.

Everything else that I get throughout the week when I'm at like Safeway or those kinds of places, it's dry goods.

We're talking banana chips.

I got dried mangoes and mandarins right now.

So that'll be like the middle portion of the day.

I'll load up on food.

And then it's typically cooking because I've been doing a lot of soups.

Miso soup keeps pretty good in the car, especially if you could find it in the disposable pouches.

That's really good.

And then rice, I got bags of rice going on.

(soft music) (car alarm) I love driving.

Like the road that I'm hopefully like, I'm trying to take you.

That's my favorite road.

It's so beautiful.

You're gonna see why.

I'm trying to practice going the speed limit because work kept talking about how I was speeding too much.

So this is where my foster mom taught me how to speed.

So not a lot of cars go over here.

We were speeding, we were cruising.

Oldies was playing.

(laughs) She taught me so much.

Like she was teaching me about like apartments and cars and all kinds of stuff.

And I wasn't ready.

Like I've barely been able to even experience my trauma.

(soft music) It's pretty.

Like even though I've been like depressed and like I've been 5150'd and had like been like hella suicidal and all kinds of stuff.

And like my OCD with my obsessive thoughts and stuff, at the same time, it's like, I've always been able to somehow be resilient, optimistic and just say jokes and just laugh everything off.

Freedom, like just, like that's the biggest emotion that I feel when I'm driving.

We were never in one place for too long.

It was like one to three months at max and then we move again.

So to be driving, it feels like, like I get that feeling of freedom of home.

Because me traveling a lot was my feeling of home.

Like other people is like, oh yeah, this is where I grew up.

This is home to me.

For me, it's like the road.

That's why I really wanna drive as a career.

It makes a lot of money and I'll be able to get a house, a car and stuff that I wanna do.

Like, cause I don't wanna be homeless forever.

I really don't.

Yeah, things are going pretty good.

What wound up coming my way is like a new partner and a new relationship.

So I'm not in the car anymore.

They're helping me out with a new job.

They're the person who's sort of got my foot in the door.

And then after a little hang time and getting to know each other a little more, they decided, hey, I don't want you living like that anymore.

I wanna invite you into this space.

And it's like this beautiful thing.

We're like cooking dinners together and eating around the kitchen table and I'm getting to know this person's kids and we're just like kind of building this beautiful little life together right now.

And it's something that I definitely did not expect like a month and a half, two months ago.

It's been really, really cool.

I don't really know how to convey exactly how excited I am about it, but everything is so different now.

I think I'm gonna make it.

I think I'm gonna wind up sticking around for a good long while.

It's pretty cool.

(dramatic music) I was born in Sacramento, raised out in Elk Grove.

Grew up on five acres, kind of the country life, country bumpkin, raising animals, all that good stuff.

Been here my whole life.

I moved away to Arizona for four years for school.

I'm back here and unfortunately found myself in a bad situation and on the streets.

I'm from Texas and my stepdad was very abusive physically and he wasn't always that way.

But once he had his own child with my mom, it's like he wanted me out.

He wanted his family there.

So, and he was always threatening to kick me out.

I was like 14, 15.

I wasn't a bad kid.

Got decent grades in school, never skipped and never was in trouble.

Took as many classes as I could, graduated early and then immediately joined the Navy.

I was in the Navy 2003 to 2009 and I was deployed in 2005 and 2007.

I really enjoyed the camaraderie of the military.

The bad part was I disagreed with the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and I was deployed twice to the Persian Gulf on the USS Nimitz, an aircraft carrier.

I've just by nature, kind of always been a curious person and at a young age, I was exposed to marijuana.

Older siblings kind of coaxed me into that.

I was in fourth grade the first time I got high.

Yeah, in high school I started smoking weed again.

Just kind of partying and stuff.

Didn't see, I took the semester at City College and didn't see things really going anywhere.

And yeah, I wanted to be a pilot.

And so I applied for Embry-Riddle and got accepted.

I actually have my single and multi-engine private pilot's license.

I have about 210, 215 hours.

Single and double engine Cessnas.

Things were going good off to a good start and just kind of got exposed to kind of the party lifestyle.

And I didn't really know when to stop.

When, you know, there's time for, you know, time for work and there's time for play.

And I didn't know that line.

And I never ended up finishing school.

I actually ended up, I started using Roxicodone the 30 milligram Roxicodone pills.

And I got hooked on those.

It just kind of, it takes over your life.

Like everything you do kind of has to revolve around that.

Because you do build up a physical dependency to it and you get sick and whatnot.

And it sucks, it's tough.

I graduated from Chapman University with a BA in Legal Studies.

And I got my Juris Doctor from Lincoln Law School of Sacramento.

I finished law school and was studying for the bar exam.

And I was doing volunteer work where an organization called the National Lawyers Guild.

We do legal observing during protests.

And during the George Floyd protests, I was out there clearly identified as a legal observer.

[from news broadcast] "At short range, while I'm wearing this hat."

And for absolutely no reason, a cop decided to shoot me in the face with a shotgun that shoots bags of lead shot.

They call them bean bags, but it's definitely not beans in there.

Are there rocks hitting you?

Are there rocks hitting you?

(indistinct shouting) Did rocks hit you?

(indistinct shouting) (shots fired) (shots fired) Oh, (bleep)!

Oh, I'm hit.

(bleep), I'm hit.

(bleep) I got a brain injury.

And then slowly my life just collapsed.

So lost my job, still possibly may have lost my career, lost my relationship, lost my friends, just everything.

My memory is getting better, but at the worst point I had moment to moment amnesia.

And I have a strange disorder called dyschronometria, which means I can't feel the passage of time or judge time intervals.

I've been homeless for about three months.

There's a piece of private property that has some, I guess, city exemptions of their homeless ordinance called safe ground.

So I've been staying at the safe ground.

Prior to my injury, I was a long distance backpacker, so I was already, I guess, strangely prepared for homelessness.

I mentioned to you before that I haven't told anybody I'm homeless.

There is a stigma.

I haven't told any of my friends.

I tell them I'm staying at a place, you know, in Alkali Flat, which is true.

I just don't go more into detail.

And I've always been a very self-sufficient person.

Had to kind of get through everything without a safety net.

So I still have that mentality of, you know, I gotta get through this on my own.

The people around me are really good people.

They're all homeless.

Everyone's just trying to make it.

Some people fall on hard times, and we need to have compassion and empathy for poor people, for people with disabilities.

Life happens.

Life has happened to everybody.

You know, something gets in your way and knocks you down.

Sometimes it knocks you down more than others.

(somber music) He's really young.

When we found him, he had a lot of boogers covering his nose and his eyes.

So we're nursing him back to health.

(meow) We have so much stuff, and it's because this is our home.

As you have a lot of stuff at your home, you would have all your things.

So these are all of our things, because this is our home.

I got convicted of commercial burglary, and per terms of the probation from that was some sort of a drug treatment.

Because that basically, that burglary wouldn't have happened if I wasn't a drug addict.

And I'm not just doing the rehab thing, because I have to.

That's definitely getting me to go in that direction, don't get me wrong.

But like I'm 32 years old, and I've been running wild for kind of a long time, and it's time to move forward with my life.

I have a lot of potential, and yeah, I wanna get on with my life.

(somber music) (somber music) I have a dog who's elderly.

Gonzo Dog is its name.

I named him after Hunter S. Thompson.

We're in our last year together, and just, I'm sorry .

Okay.

One of my biggest challenges is my elderly dog.

I have to take him everywhere I go, because I don't have a place to leave him.

So anything I have to do, he has to go with me.

And since he's old, I can't walk him that far.

And one of the things about being in the summer here in Sacramento is it's hot.

So I have an elderly dog with a heart issue.

You know, it's sometimes 105 outside.

I gotta think about the heat hitting him.

I gotta think about his paws burning.

Does he have enough water?

Yeah, it's tough during the summer with an animal, and just doing your best to take care of them.

It's hard.

(somber music) We try to leave no later than like 12:30, 1 o'clock at the absolute latest.

Usually it's a race to get to the cans before the trash truck does.

When they come, usually like 5 or 6 a.m.

I would say we'll recycle for like three hours maybe.

And it just kinda depends on how busy it is or how much recycles they have.

But anywhere from, I would say anywhere from $50 to $100.

$100 on a really good, heavy night.

$50 on a slower night.

And two, there's other people who recycle too.

You gotta beat them out there too.

There's just certain neighborhoods on certain nights.

That's when their trash gets picked up.

And Fab Forties is a wealthier area.

A lot of people over there, they'll have parties on weekends or whatever, barbecues and stuff.

So they have a lot of recycling.

Just a good area.

It's clean, which is nice, especially since we are digging in trash cans and recycle bins.

It's nice for it to be clean and not smell real bad.

Some people, they don't like people digging in their trash.

We like to leave it cleaner than we found it.

If anything's on the ground, we make sure we pick it up, and put it back in the can.

We need to support ourselves somehow.

That's how we put food in our bellies.

Just a good money opportunity.

(soft music) I probably won't experience homelessness again because I won my appeal with the VA.

So I've been moved from 40% disability to 90%.

I've known Jen since about 2017.

We've been acquaintances for years, many years.

And she happened to have a room open up and we've known each other long enough that she was like, yeah, you're good to move in.

She's always making great food.

She makes coffee in the morning.

And that is something I'm not used to having a cup of coffee in the morning.

That's one of the little joys in life that people take for granted.

Yeah, there's a lot of little things, but the ability to wash your hands, to have a sink, to take a shower.

My quality of life has definitely increased.

At the same time I have, because of the brain injury, I have trouble thinking about that time and place, despite it just being a few weeks ago.

I was supposed to be going four days a week to South Sacramento for, I believe, three hours a day, for an outpatient program kind of thing.

And that really wasn't easy to do.

And I kind of stopped going.

I don't know what the consequences are gonna be.

I have court on Zoom, so they can't arrest me.

And that is when they will find out about me not attending my outpatient stuff.

All right, let me talk to Mr.

J enovino And good morning, sir.

Good morning, sir.

Your attorneys told me that you intend to admit the violation of probation and based on that violation, the court would then, by agreement, sentence you to 30 days.

You can apply for alternative sentencing.

Mr.

Jenovino, do you admit that violation?

Yes, sir.

Okay, the court finds a knowing, intelligent, and voluntary waiver of his right to a contested violation of probation hearing.

The court, based on the admission, finds the defendant in violation of probation.

The court will reinstate the defendant on probation.

And the court will sentence the defendant to 30 days in county jail.

Mr.

Jenovino, you've taken responsibility today, and you have to do your jail time that's set, and you have to report to probation today.

I want to wish you good luck in those matters, okay?

Thank you, Judge.

Thank you.

(eerie music) 62, I'll be 63 this year.

I went in when I was 17 in 1978, and I spent three years in the infantry.

I served eight years active and three years in reserves.

The Army was actually the only place I ever felt like I really belonged.

The Army taught me a lot about how to survive.

I went down to San Diego and worked in a resort.

I had to come back because my mother had a stroke, and there was no one to take care of her, so I came back, gave up my job down there, and came back here and took care of her.

And she was bedridden and paralyzed, so I had to do everything for her.

That was hard, that was a real hard job.

She was also addicted to medications, so that put her, me and her at odds all the time, because she'd always want her meds.

and she couldn't have them, and I'd have to tell her no.

I think she died hating me, actually.

That's kind of how I became homeless, you think about it, because my stepfather put the house in reverse mortgage, so anything that was to inherit was gone, I didn't get anything.

And just kind of got stuck out here.

I've been out here for like seven years now.

I don't know what the Lord is putting me through, but I went through a lot.

I lost my baby brother.

Four months later, I lost my mom.

Maybe nine months later, I lost my wife.

I was married to Karen Lynn Hunter for 28 years.

That was my wife.

They said she had a bad heart.

They said she had a bad heart.

It's just too much tragedy going on in my life.

Too much tragedy.

It's hard when you don't have nobody to go to and talk to.

Certain situations are hard.

I've been in prison.

Going to prison doesn't make you a bad guy.

I'm the same person.

Just trying to survive, that's all.

Just surviving.

(somber music) That's pretty much it.

(somber music) I make my own tents now because the commercial ones, they won't withstand the beating it takes to live in one.

They're not made to live in, they're made to have vacation in.

I build mine out of canvas and heavy duty tarps.

The winters can be pretty brutal.

I've had two tents destroyed by weather.

(quiet music) There's a lot of people that have big hearts and they come around, they bring you meals sometimes or whatever, clothing or, and I never take what I don't need, but it's nice to have somebody bring you a meal once in a while.

People are people, no matter where you're at.

It gives the neighbors.

I'm gonna smoke another cigarette.

I won't give people my last of stuff.

I won't give them, I won't put myself out, but if I have extra stuff, I always share with people without, I don't need profit, I don't need money for it.

Like people are always like, you can sell that or this and that.

I don't really give a (bleep).

I used to skate all over the place.

Like miles a day back and forth.

I kind of slowed down some.

That's what got me through everything was skateboarding and my music.

It got me through all the best and the worst that life has to offer.

Guys are kind of intimidated by me because I can ride a skateboard and they can't.

And so if anybody, women who are on foot out here, it's pretty dangerous, I think.

A lot of things can happen to them.

I've known Harold for about 10 years.

He was my best friend.

We did everything together and he was very good to me.

We had a truly plutonic relationship.

We had a lot of fun and it's pretty boring out here now without him.

(somber music) He was a really, really good man.

A lot of people were really affected by his death.

It still hasn't really hit me yet.

It's been, I don't know, it's been a week and a half, two weeks, I think, and it still hasn't hit me yet.

It's just, I haven't really had a lot of people close to me die.

I don't judge people and I hate when people judge me.

My mission when I became homeless was not to compromise my integrity.

So I've done pretty good with it.

I have a pretty good reputation as being a trustworthy person.

I was talking to this one man one time and then I told him I was homeless and he slowly walked away, crept away, walked away from me and just stopped talking to me completely, it was like, yo, I was just like the same person you were just talking to me just a minute ago and then people can get really judgmental.

Everybody has a story out here.

I do odd jobs for people.

I still have some people that I worked for before I was homeless.

I was a painter for about 30 years.

So painting jobs aren't too hard to get easily.

Now I can pretty much shake the bell and they'll come running.

They follow me everywhere.

Kittens are so much fun.

Yeah, like the most hardened criminal will like melt when they see kittens.

I was having to bottle feed them.

The Walmart sells kitten formula.

So I get, and then I feed them with a Narcan, a Narcan syringe.

I take the needle off and then I feed them with the syringe part.

Yeah, we have harm reduction comes here and gives out syringes and stuff like that.

They have a mobile RV that comes here and they do testing like HIV and hepatitis testing and stuff like that and give us Narcan.

So then it says, this works better.

I have baby bottles.

I have little baby bottles, but they don't work.

They like these better.

These guys are spayed and neutered, the older ones.

Two, three, four, five, six, yeah, seven.

(mumbles) (gentle music) The only way you would know that I was homeless is if you see me walk into my tent.

If you saw me walking down the street, you wouldn't know I'm homeless.

I normally shave every day, I clean up.

I put clean clothes on.

I wash my clothes in laundromats like everybody else does or I'll hand wash them.

Being homeless also keeps you in shape.

You gotta walk everywhere, go ride a bike.

You don't tend to overeat and you'd be surprised how many people are homeless that you see every day.

You ride the bus and you travel anywhere.

The only problem with public opinion is that you're seen.

If you're not seen, you're all right.

So I tend to try to stay out of view and yeah, they don't mess with you, if they don't see you.

But I'm working on getting a place with the veterans group.

So we'll see what happens with that.

(atmospheric music) I'm really sad to have lost one of my best friends.

It's heartbreaking, but they showed me what a true friend is.

They showed me what caring for others is like.

They were a good person.

They had a good heart.

It's one of the main reasons that I'm continuing my sobriety because I know deep down they wanted to be sober, but they couldn't.

So I promised myself to continue that sobriety.

To be sober for the both of us.

I miss him a lot.

His death date is actually my first sober date.

And now I've been sober.

It's gonna be a year, June 15th.

The last time I had a conversation with my daughter was probably a month ago.

She's gonna be 25.

She's actually really smart and sometimes she calls me just to say hi and I love you.

I'm really excited that they're really invested in her growing up in a good healthy way and to build relationships with people and they're really interactive with her.

We are in Midtown Sacramento at my newly acquired studio apartment.

I won the appeal at the hearing stage for my social security disability based off the brain injury.

I wish they would have done this years ago, but everything I was telling the doctors, they just dismissed and they didn't want to believe me and they were like, "Oh, you don't have a brain bleed.

You don't have a skull fracture."

"Okay, you shouldn't have these symptoms."

"I do."

Yeah, when I was on the street, when I was homeless, I spoke to a few other people who, same thing happened to them.

They were housed, they were working, they were contributing to society.

They got injured, car accidents, work accidents, can't work, lose the car, lose the house, out on the street.

No one is faking homelessness on purpose to try to get a disability claim.

I promise, that's nothing anybody wants to go through.

It's scary out there.

You're out there because you have to be, because you don't have another choice.

What is a baby?

I was supposed to turn myself in on January 12th, when I have contact with Law Enforcement Next.

If my name gets ran, I'm probably going to get arrested.

We were at 2nd Street for a little over a year, quite a while, and it worked out for us for a long time.

And then one evening, we heard the yells of "fire, there's a fire!"

So we were really lucky that we got out of there.

Because, man, everything up there was just absolutely destroyed.

Like, lucky nobody got hurt.

The fire really kind of got people's attention, I guess.

And so when they came to move us, they threw away a lot of people's stuff that they use on a regular basis.

And there reasons were we can only keep what is life essential items.

They threw away a lot of tarps.

They threw away people's bicycles.

They threw away people's bedsheets.

They threw away their blankets.

They threw away people's food.

They threw away my tent.

They threw away my home.

Ready to get off the streets.

Ready to be a regular member of society.

I know I'm capable.

That's Harvey.

(purring) The rent hasn't been paid here for a while This rent is $2,000 a month here.

(music) It's crazy, huh?

$2,000.

I can't afford that.

They're not gonna get any rent, and so I will get an eviction.

I don't think they will, they don't know my last name or anything.

So I'm not gonna be evicted tomorrow because they can't just kick me out.

We were on X Street and then we moved to Front Street.

And then they didn't give us any notice.

They just came and were like, you guys gotta go right now.

And then we moved on top of the plateau when there was that really wicked storm.

We were under a tarp, holding it down the whole time.

It was so bad.

It was so windy, it flipped my cat's kennel over.

And my cat Harold, my orange cat, he got hit by a car on 2nd Street.

Yeah, that was really (bleep) up.

He was everybody's favorite cat, Harold.

He was a sweetie, he was such a sweet little cat.

He was a good boy.

In memory of Harold, my best friend, just made me feel closer to him saying his name.

It just made me feel, it made me feel it was comforting.

(ambient music) The patches are, this is the 8th Division, that's in Germany.

I was there three years.

The 5th Division, which is this one here.

That's in Louisiana, I was there 18 months.

Then I was at NATO headquarters, I was a security supervisor there.

Military policeman, and that's what that is, military-police badge.

That's SHAPE Supreme Headquarters, Allied Powers Europe.

This is the first part I've had since my own place, since 2000 and, 7, 8, 2008.

That's a long time.

I'm here under a veterans program.

Took about nine months or almost a year.

And this is the first time in my life anybody's ever paid anything for me.

I've always either paid my own way or if I didn't have it, I just didn't have it.

I go visit people that I know that are homeless still.

Sometimes they come here to visit.

I wish that they could get the same thing.

That bothers me a little bit.

Why did I get it?

Nobody else, you know.

I like to be an advocate for the homeless actually.

Helping people get to where I'm at now.

You know, finding the right, talking to the right people, finding the right way to go.

Because most people just don't have any idea.

The only thing they see is the police and they're no help.

They're horrible.

I still see people homeless on the streets now.

I'll stop and talk to them, you know, make friends and whatever.

They look at me like I'm crazy.

(laughs) All my friends, I don't know where any of them are anymore, they all went this way or that way.

I don't know.

I'm at the age where I want to retire.

I don't want to work anymore.

I'm getting arthritis in my hands.

I'm still in good shape.

While I'm in good shape, I want to go do things that, you know, other things.

Sometimes I get a little lonely, you know, at night especially, because I've always had people around me.

And I just don't have that anymore.

(music) (drumming) (dog barking)